Happy

I'm writing from my wee machine, so I'll post Happy by pharrell williams later. I listened to an interview of his in the last week, about being OTHER. If there one box that you want to be put into its The OTHER box. When I was younger, I used to quieten myself to fit to the norms, and sometimes now I still keep quiet just because I'm unsure about how to stand strong, or maybe its habit to stay quiet, epecially around those who are louder.

Things project-wise are moving forward in many positive ways. I've made a new more specific vision book, and next week I have my first sort of business meeting. I have paid towards my debts, I have paid fundamental bits towards my first Ttouch course, but on the other hand, I am struggling to stay connected.  Last week, I spent hours researching and writing inspiration into my new yellow book. And I am pleased about the direction its going. But feeling 100% present during the process is becoming a bit of a challenge.

In one way, I feel frustrated, because this is my path, and being 100% present is important to me. Its frustrating to feel like your day has been a foggy dream. I know that I am connecting and others are connecting around me. But at the moment, varying from day to day, my feeling of being present is between 40 and 80 percent.

Swimming helps a lot. I swim because my foot and knee hurt from time to time. On a physical point, its the best way of getting exercise. On a spiritual side, it helps to ground me. After I exercise I feel my feet grounding as I walk. But today, it became apparent to the dad of my second nanny family. Are you ok?  I know that I must be looking distracted. So I tell him, the next steps of putting dreams into reality are a bit overwhelming. Which is part of the story.

Some ways people say to stay connected is to sing, crystals and nature for sensitives like me, faith and words from jesus if you're christian. If only they would understand that's gods protection comes by different means.

Today it was a cold tap, water running through my hands. Moments of sensation, and reminder of physical reality to concentrate on.