Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Teambuilding, me.

I have time to write at the moment, so lets write.

A while ago I wrote somewhat off the cuff, I am nurtured. I am encouraged, and I am ready to dance again.
a few days after writing it I really laughed to myself wondering if I had faith in what I had written. I am nurtured at the moment, but will that continue to be so. I have moments of encouragement, but that also dips and troughs. If I am selling that sentence, what do I have to back it up?
The questions from last week. who is in your front line team? and what empowers me at the moment? well it circles back on itself. what empowers me is my team around me. the members of my team are not always steadfast, but as team, and without always having knowledge of each other, for me, towards me, they are steadfast. I am because we are.
One of my closest girlfriends in Scotland, is someone I can rely upon to make me laugh. to get into silly scenarios, but also learnt has been hard truths from each other. In the clubs we made a good tagteam, our peers would concentrate around urban music, but half an hour rebellion dancing to cheeseypop, and we would proudly clear the dancefloor humorous moves.
the hangover days were spent well, lets give an example. Reminiscing over home and away characters and a shared crush on Dieter Brummer. Once her boyfriend left the flat, it was safe grounds to check out some old Dieter Brummer pictures on the Internet. Kindly, google offered the possibility to check out Naked Dieter Brummer pictures - well why not?  the hitch? we had to sign in using an email account. and being somewhat coy, we thought it better to create a new email account. under the name of Dieter Brummer. Its perfectly reasonable that Dieter Brummer would want to check out his own naked pictures on the Internet.
To our huge disappointment, there were no naked pictures. But having time left over, and a new email account to use. We thought it would be fun for Dieter Brummer to send a love letter to our friend Leslie. And so he did. The wondrous thing was that "love" turned Dieter Brummer's very sexy Australian accent into something that resembled Mr Hankypoo on an acid trip. And so it began, Deeeeaaar Leslie, ahhhh haaaad a dream...

The rest of the dream is really between Dieter and Leslie, but it was a few weeks that pasted until it was brought up. Leslie was driving us down the mainstreet, and I commented that Jason Donavan was due to perform in a local bar..
.".. you never guess, but I got a love letter from Dieter Brummer the other week.."
we still have  close bond, though distance and social networks have changed these days. When I arrived in Scotland for Grandad's funeral. which was the same week as my birthday. I found a card from her, with a feather on it. I take white feathers as a significant spiritual sign. whilst working through my own daily and weekly stuff, I often lose the focus on dreams. but as I opened the card, beside the happy birthday message was a quote 

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined  - Henry David Thoreau
I mentioned that in the team there was different strands of strength and encouragement. Aside from the old faithfuls. there is a line of guidance and encouragement from friends who are on more of a spiritual level. not always expected, but always seem to be there when life wants them to be. I am highly sensitive, but I don't see it as just something in my personality trait. I see it as a process, of re-acclimatising with life around me. sometimes the world does feel harsh, and somethings can be upsetting on an irrational level. but if I was to hide away from it, then what would I be living? I stood up in discussion with Christian friends the other day, who suggested needing a stone is psychological. They need to read words in the bible to feel protected. I feel protection from energy that stones emit, some stones act as my buffer from negativities around me. a buffer from negativities that can have a disabling affect on my life.  but sitting beside my creative friend last week, it was uplifting to know that being around crystals is only part of the process, and I will not always be tied to that need, as diabetics are tied to insulin.
Today I sit with a injured foot, unable to walk, unable to take the next steps on many levels for at least the next few days. and its incredibly frustrating, not to be able to "do". the week before, I'd attended a bible discussion about healing (how ironic you say. yeps, I say.) it suggested that other peoples belief, Christian-wise, other peoples faith in Christ, can do miracles. So I wanted to ask my friend, can pain be eradicated through belief? in a non-christian outlook, can pain vanish by believing that it can? and the answer was yes. and I had this huge feeling that this part of the process is going to be difficult to fathom. And he wrote..
I ask How in the mirror?

There is work
to be willing

Light not
to be ignored
Bliss to be
Knowing knowledge

... Knowing being
Doing knowing
Do being
as knowledge

The U in topia
is just
Door, step
face Within

I, I will
work with you
willing us
to do

What the reflection
can not


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