Mongoose - Petrify

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yqv1iNzFuIo&feature=youtube_gdata_player

So this is the guy I saw perform on Saturday. Its been a lot time since I put attention to the music scene. Up until a few weeks ago, it was complete compulsion to embed myself in the project. And I do think it had to be done that way to get things done.

The week before, I went to church. Mostly to give praise for help in getting the first course under my belt. When you know that your purpose is being encouraged at different levels, it makes the feel of absolute stress and pressure somewhat do-able. I'm sure I should enjoy life, that's the mission, but sometimes, the process of working towards the purpose can bring up feelings and situations that aren't so pleasant. Anyway, my first certificate for Ttouch training is in the bag. And the whole path to get it was full of blessings and encouragement.

During the week I stayed at a youth hostel in bath. A lot more homely feeling than amsterdam. I shared a room one evening with a model who had worked with Kate Moss. And she thought I was 22! Having worked with Kate Moss.. well that's credentials for extremely good judgement.   I told the news to a friend,

So let me get this straight.. you're 34 next week, but going by ..22?

Yes.

So in church, I've been noticing a pattern. There is sort of split between those who want to live. And those who are fearful of what's outwith the walls of their church community.  Last week when I had been to church, there had be a guy involved in outreach work. His questions were,

Where have you seen god at work?

In who have you seen god at work?

A guy came in late and sat at our table. He's been a guest speaker too, but with a different tangent. The following question, was how can we bring our purpose to show gods love in the kingdom?

Latecomer could not grasp the concept. His view was that god only works with christians and the church. My view still is, that say all present biblical knowledge was erased from social memory, if god is the greatest unconditional love, surely he would still want to impact our lives. And it is my belief he/she does this regardless of whether you are christian or not.

When I was living in the christian shelter, there was a fear of the volunteers going to nightclubs, because of the bad influence that might be around.

On Saturday night, I was in a nightclub watching Mongoose and the beatbox perform. Between songs, as the tempo changed, he took time to ask the crowd what their definition of love is. What does love mean to you? Wat is liefde? Someone shouted.. God is Love.

Jaa sowieso! Put your fist in the air if you think that God is Love!

The crowd raised their hands.

Inspiration - Alicia's story

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxuqbZ0Q_9c&feature=youtube_gdata_player

God only knows

An ex of mine used to always say, well nicki, whats the next step. he was a scrapper, a survivor, a business man, a conman. and for the latter reason, a most definate Ex.  i dont like washing dirty laundry in public, but his parting line is priceless, and i challenge anyone else to come up with a better one.

"..could you ATLEAST do my laundry before I leave." 

And I did. But only graciously to a point. He left with a bin bag of wet laundry. I can't ever say that I wish I never met him. I don't. He was the first partner who was a spiritual match. He cleaned my energy up, and also taught me what to respect in myself. He also taught me to think forward. Whats the next step, and do it.

I had a spiritual clean up today. On Christmas day. Its always very bizarre when it happens. I dont know why, but since arriving in Scotland, I had a feeling of being spiritually open, and in someways vulnerable. Two days before hand, i woke up with incredibly bad pins and needles in my hands, to the point i was banging my hands against the wall in my sleep to ease it (at 2 in the morning, allow me to be a drama queen). and since being at home, i've been in the feeling of washed away. waves of energy, and I dont know how to feel grounded and focus within it.  I dont want to feel alarm about it. so i just thought, if i have patience, it will pass.

My mum and dad live on a small housing estate in the middle of the countryside. and a couple of years ago, a university friend of my dads who is married to a school friend of my mums. (yes i know.. apparently there was even more dynamics to it in the seventies, but as its my parents, i REALLY dont want to know). well, they moved in to a house along the cul de sac. And when my parents mix with them, and their other close friends, there is a huge ammount of laughter, and scottish wry wit.

My Dads friend popped by, looked down at the christmas roundrobbin we'd been sent from his sisters family. Gosh.. you get this too? .. I dont think anyone reads it, or looks at it without *pulls a "oh for goodness sake face. .. infact its only Steven who really takes any interest in it, and thats only because hes a sucker for tradition.... all that could easily be written in two sentences... "our family is wonderful, and we leave fascinating lives. full stop" He then went onto complain that he had to get a stocking packed for his daughters boyfriend was visiting. I mean come on.. i heard Kat talking .. well we do it for the kids.. The Kids?! come on!! the 25year olds?! i think next year Christmas should only be about US!

Tonight we went to their house for a christmas tipple. We sat in a huge circle. And within a minute, their two cats were sitting beside me facing me. And of course, being me, i say hello as if they were humans. thats what i do.   and then it began. they began to communicate. and i know that they were putting intention towards me, because when a cat looks at you, they dont lie. everyone knows that at least.
I began to feel the same buzz in my hands as if i was standing beside a huge clean crystal.  and then the dialogue began, and i began to tune to it as i started to feel spiritually more grounded and "cleaned up"

let me see says cat. let me see if it can bring the energy from your wrist to your neck...
you need to feel clean again, because you have to focus. you must trust in what we say, you must move the project forward. even if it results in financial debt, the lord will take care of you. We are taking effort to clean you, so that you can bring healing forward to others, this is how it works.  now let me see if i can raise your energy further...

The buzzy energy rose from my hands, to my wrists, to half way past my elbow. and when i returned home, i felt relaxed, and refreshed.

But the feeling of being refreshed, allows ideas, and that itchy feeling of not doing something about it.   So I've made the first steps towards attending the Ttouch course for horses. I signed the paper, and promised that i would follow through But please god, if i do this, let me have a full nights sleep. I dont have full nights sleeps at the moment, it takes me a lot of time to switch off from processing what the best thing to do next? how will i? how can i? who will? how would? thinkthinkthinkthinkthink

so i hope after this. i can have a restful sleep, and feel conscious for the rest of the holidays. thats my bargaining with goddygod. i hope it works.

so far... i have made my first website!  and made moves to make my first Facebook page!

the next steps are to look for funding for the courses, for the ponies, and for the financial support of the project until its complete for take off, please email me if you feel inspired to join the party!  nothing great is ever achieved by one person, its the team behind them, and man oh man i am looking for some more inspired team members!

I sit now watching the last part of Love Actually. Eating my chocolate orange. and listening to the ending, God only knows what i'd be what i'd be without you. and its true.  My family, and friends gave me christmas bundles of inspiration books, and a new diary - DARE TO DREAM. and thats what i'm daring to do, i am daring to follow through. I dare you to do that too!

Merry Christmas x